Know Thyself

You know what I like about me? I know who I am and who I want to be. I recognize I change all the time, but generally I know what direction in life I'm headed and the kind of image I like to reflect. I like to be thought of as classy, elegant, sophisticated. Maybe sexy as fuck on occasion, but "classy" sexy...

Lately I've called all that into question because I felt lacking. Like there was something wrong with me. Like maybe if I wore different clothes or more make-up or had bigger boobs, things would be different... I would have things I thought I wanted.

But after some reflection lately, I came to a realization.... I am just fine.

Just because I am tall does NOT mean I need to wear flats and slouch to make some man feel bigger than me. You know what it does mean? It means I have legs from here to the sky and in heels they are AWESOME. If a man is intimidated by me, that's his issue.

Just because I have smaller boobs doesn't mean I need to be self conscious and feel less worthy than women who have huge tits. It DOES mean that mine are perky and cute and will not be at my knees in 15 years. It means I have had 4 kids and still have nice ass cleavage that, TRUST ME, still gets attention. It means I buy stock in push up bras and that I ROCK the hell out of them.

Nope. I am not 21 anymore. I am 33 and you couldn't PAY my ass to redo those years. You know why? 21 years old are stupid. I was even a little stupid. Not stupid enough to go ghetto and cover myself in ridiculous, trashy tattoos kind of stupid, but I thought I had it all figured out. Being 33 means I can have grown up conversation. I am not limited to what I saw on Entertainment Tonight or the newest club music. I can talk to you knowledgeably about politics, religion, economy, current events and a plethora of other topics. AND I also know every word to Beastie Boys Paul Revere and Brass Monkey. I know every line in Princess Bride and Billy Madison. You don't get that kind of variety in an idiot 21 year old with pink tipped nails and drawn on eyebrows. You just don't.

I am sure you get alot of other valuable information from that kind of girl. You can learn how to jack a car, get money from a "Baby Daddy", how many shots you can take from 7-11pm before puking, how to shank someone and make a shiv. You can witness awesome drama and temper tantrums! All valuable, interesting subject matter.

If that's what you're into.

And if that's what you're into, of course you don't want me. Of course! And the best part of all this realization is that I realized that if that is what you're into.... I don't want you either.