A BEA-YOUUUU-TA-FUL Way To Start the Day

Thanks for saying it all for me, Youk & MLB!!!!

The Block...in Review

First of all, I need to start for you where no one did for me. This bitch should come with a big sticker on the front WARNING any true NKOTB fans not to listen to it on their way to work, pick up their kids, go grocery shopping or anyplace where it would be highly inappropriate to be record levels of turned on and breathing funny. Because it will do so. In a BAD way.

Let me be very clear. So you can either not buy it for your daughters or so you can pour yourselves a drink and get into a satin robe before listening to it: This Album Is About Sex. Period. It is foreplay on a CD. And no, it’s NOT just because I have a dirty mind, thank you very much. I’m not gonna say my mental pictures aren’t going to be better than yours because of said dirty mind- because they might just be… But it really is.

After listening to it objectively 5 times through, I can officially state that what this album says to us, the lifelong fans is- “We were all too young back then, but we have all grown up now… And we could totally fuck if we wanted to… And we would be good at it. And you would like it... A lot.”

That said, here are this reviewers humble opinions so that we can all compare.

Click Click Click
This one is all about a man… and his camera. Taking pictures of the woman he worships. It is Jordan’s chocolately voice charming pants off of… Whoever. Love this song- but honestly can’t tell you if it’s because of the song or the video in my head. Doesn’t matter. Any song featuring Donnie saying the words “Take off your clothes for me” is aces in my book.

2.Single
It’s nice. It is. A good way for the boys to come back. I don’t put it on replay or anything, but it’s nice to hear the guys together again.

3.Big Girl Now
Dance-y and fun, I love this one. And more with the sex…

4. Summertime
I just ADORE this song. It makes me giggly and stupid. It is so fun and classic New Kids.

5. 2 in the Morning
A good one. If I’m honest, one I tend to skip over, if nothing else than to hurry up and get to #6… I’m impatient and demand gratification.

6. Grown Man
And this one delivers in the gratification department. Aye-ye-yie! Every time you hear Donnie say “Ima give you some Grown Man” there is no doubt exactly what he means.
7. Dirty Dancing
This is so fun and if anyone remembers Donnie’s almost Jamaican sounding raps from long ago, there’s a lot of that going on here. I was thrown by the “She’s like baby, I’m like Swayze” line at first because it sounded so damn cheesy, but this song is one that will grow on you.

8. Sexify My Love
I’m a fan of the made up word, but the first time I listened to this song, the word “sexify” just bothered me. Then I got to Joe crooning “I don’t care where we are, on the hood of my car, out in public making love in the streets…” aaaaaand I kinda didn’t care anymore. How the boys knew about my secret fantasy with Jeff Gordon on the hood of his still warm #24 Dupont Chevrolet, I don’t know, but they totally blew THAT one out of the water… Jeff who?

9. Twisted
This is one of my favorites. I LOVE this song. This is the one on replay. I love the beat, I love the words, the harmony. It is fast and fun.

10. Full Service (Featuring New Edition)
Again with the naughty images this one brings up…. Our guys sound awesome.

11. Lights, Camera, Action
This is a great song. And no, it is not about being on a set in Hollywood. Oh, it’s about filming alright, and I don’t care who you are- you’ll be agreeing to whatever the guys ask of you by the end of this one. But Joe, why do we only get one take?

12. Put It On My Tab (Featuring Akon)
Another indifferent one. It’s not bad by any means… I just tend to skip over it because I personally am over Akon.

13.Stare at You
Back in the day, you knew a few certainties when getting your Brand New NKOTB album… Donnie would have some awesome raps in there somewhere, Jordan would have lead vocals in 75% of the songs, you’d have to listen excruciatingly close to try to hear Jon…and Joe would have a heart clenching ballad.

Ladies, I give you the ballad. Yes, there's Jordan too. But this is the Big Girls version of Please Don’t Go Girl… and I HEART it.

14. One Song
This is another favorite that gets blasted on the way to work. If your car doesn’t become Dance Party USA during this one, you have no soul.

15. Don’t Cry
Like it. Made me wonder how the hell I ever went 13 years without hearing Joe and Jordan’s voices together.

16. Officially Over
This is the most fun damn breakup song you will ever hear.

17. Looking Like Danger
I like this one too, but again, I usually listen to the first half then skip over it to start over.

It really is a great CD. And I don’t mean “for a comeback of the New Kids”. It stands on its own compared to brand new artists. If I didn’t know who they were before, I would still love it. Fortunately for me, I have dreamt of this CD and tour for YEARS, so I just relish it that much more.

What’s odd is that I used to be such a Knight brother fanatic. I would lay awake at night trying to decide who I would marry when someday they both fell in love with me and asked me to marry them. I mean really, how could I come between 2 brothers like that? If I chose one, how would Christmas’s work?

Now? Now as a 33 year old woman I can’t even begin to list the appendages I would give up at a later date to be all up in the middle of a Joe & Donnie sammich. What is it about that damn Donnie??! And Joe with the eyes…and the crooning. I know where that came from. My Harry Connick Jr. fantasies have come to life again! Sigh.

I really hope this is just the beginning of something bigger. They didn’t come back with some Recycled Greatest Hits Album. They made a statement. They are back. And they are Grown. Ass. Men.