Breaking Up is Hard to Do...

Breaking up is never easy... even if it is with men you've had a very imaginative, pretend relationship with. It still hurts. but the above men have crossed me personally in ways that are unforgivable. So, they are being cut from the ranks of my Pretend Boyfriends. It's sad, really, but then, you could look at it as time to start a new roster! So, without further ado...

Most of you know about Adam & I... We actually broke up a few weeks ago when I saw this, this THING on his head.... AGAIN. The first time I can overlook, but really, this is too much.... I'll miss him and our Thanksgiving/Hanukkah/Red Hooded Sweatshirt songs, but we are o-v-e-r.

Dear, sweet Brad... It will never work if that's how you want to raise my kids once you adopt them. It just won't. We would've been an awesome little Brady Bunch, you and I... what with my 4 and your 6. But whatever. I'm over you and your hotness if you think I'll ever let my kids wear a Yankee hat. I'd rather they grow up to be hookers and garbage men...

Et tu, Brady? Really? When I saw this last year, again, thought it was a joke. But repeatedly, over and over? How could you? Ditching your pregnant girlfriend for some skinny model is one thing. THIS presents an entire different set of issues. No wonder the sports gods saw you unfit for 19-0....

Oh Jeff.... Where do I even begin? I thought after 12 years we could make it through anything together. The wins and losses, the devastating Winston in the Chrome Illusion car, the divorce, your random hookers on the yacht, even the Yankee cap I know you just wore to keep from getting your ass beat when you moved to New York. But partying with Paris Hilton?! At an event you invited her to? Now we have a problem. Stupid is as stupid does, Jeff. And I can't be the next Mrs. Gordon knowing you're cool with hanging with stupid. Maybe on the off chance you totally made fun of her when she walked away, we might have something to fight for. If not.... sigh, I'll miss you the most.

Cincy...

Pics will have to wait until probably this weekend, but I have lots. Left for the 3 game series on Thursday and got back on Monday. Had an awesome time- fabulous seats and serious eye contact with Tek. Sat in a seat previously occupied by Mr. Josh Beckett and even asked the manager what he had so I could have it too. Yep. My kind of hero worship knows no bounds and cannot be constrained by your definitions of "not cool"....

Sox took 2 of 3- one in a nail biter of an extra inning (which anyone reading this already knows because they were there with me OR they watched all 3 anyway). Went to BP, on a stadium tour and actually made words to our 3rd base coach DeMarlo Hale, met a 60 year old Sox fan who went to 88 games last year and has had Fenway season tickets for 35 years. Spent 3 hours drinking and listening to stories from said man and asked so many questions that I've always wanted to know from guys who were there back in the day... I really think he loved it. That or looking down my dress and oogling my friend as well. Maybe both, but I digress...

I got video footage of Coco trying to start a fight with the Gapper, Cincinnati's fluffy mascot. Not really, just trying to swipe at him from the dugout, but still... What else? Took pictures of Tek from 6 feet above his head when he was in the bullpen warming guys up because he was out of the lineup.

So many other side notes and stories, I think they will end up being posts of their own... But thank you to all of ChaCha's amazing numbers that I met, thank you to Allen from Boston for all the stories, thank you to Dan the tour guide for letting us on the field, Dan the guy in the bar who had us laughing for hours and gave us no less than 3 one liners that will stick forever ("I wanna touch her where she pees!!!"), thank you to my Dad for driving down from Detroit to see me, thank you to Paul, the manager at Rock Bottom Brewery for letting 2 cute girls skip the 2 hour wait and bringing me Josh Beckett nachos. Thank you to the cute boy from San Fransisco for being cute and flirting with ChaCha, and thank you to my boys for an awesome weekend. See you in Houston!

Somewhere in NASCARland....

Dear Angela,

I can't help but notice the lack of support lately... I don't feel your intense concentration on me every Sunday anymore and my finishes are showing it. I don't know what I've done... okay, maybe you're a little upset about the whole Ingrid thing. I know, I know. I teased you with the divorce, but I just couldn't wait for you anymore. Then the whole baby thing happened, and I knew that would upset you. I swear it was an accident, and yes, I know she would be cuter if she were yours. What can I say?

If I am to ever get this damned 5th championship, I need you back. I know that now. And I'm feeling inadequate knowing I have to compete with the Red Sox for your love and adoration. What do I have to do to win you back? I need you to follow me lap after lap- you were my lucky charm and I was too stupid to notice. I took you for granted and I'm sorry.

Sandler called and told me about the breakup for the Yankee hat thing- he's a mess, btw... and I know you busted me once for the same thing and gave me another chance. I just need one more. Then we'll have another big Championship trophytogether.

Let's do it again for old times sake, okay? I miss you...

Love,

Jeff

Over 500....and Counting

The Man is a BEAST! A crazy, adorable, hilarious beast.

Well done, sir. Well done.