So Neiman Marcus has unveiled the 2007 Christmas catalog full of insanely overpriced purchases only the truly whacked-out would dream to wish for.
We are talking a $1.4 million submarine, $110,000 for a portrait made from chocolate syrup, $70 slippers, $500,000 for a tree tent, $73,000 for a diamond encrusted cell phone, a private concert with the Kirov Orchestra for $1.6 million or $1000 for a pair of Prada tennis shoes.... Tennis shoes. Like the kind you run in? Would you strap $500 to each of your feet and walk around in them? I don't think so.
But in the spirit of whacked out, craziness that I do so admire, I have assembled my own wish list for this mythical Santa who brings over the top gifts to especially good girls and boys...
Personal Tour of Fenway from the Sox- I don't want the standard tourist crap either, Santa, I want the real deal. I'm talkin' affirmative visual confirmation of locker room towel snapping, a tour of the inside of the Green Moster with Manny, BP with Papi's arms around me teaching me to swing. I want to watch tapes with Tek and try on his mask, eat hot dogs with Youk and his goatee while we make fun of Alex Cora. I want a walk to the pitchers mound with Josh Beckett on one arm and Curt Shilling on the other. (I'll work on the whole kissing Mike Lowell thing myself while I'm there, so don't worry about adding that in)
I'd also like to meet Jeff Gordon- (Naked, on the hood of his car if possible) If I must meet my future husband, Mr. Gordon, in a socially acceptable environment, I'd like to have him take me for hotlaps at Bristol.
One of everything from Tiffany & Co. No really. Just one. I know that it's a different store, Santa, but if you're handing out 1.4 million dollar submarines, I figure this isn't too terribly much to ask.
Instead of asking for that $500,000 tree tent, I think I'll ask for, I dunno, a HOUSE with foundation and bathrooms. I'm thinkin' half a mil could buy a pretty nice one of those...
Instead of that orchestra, I'll take a silver Mercedes. Convertable would be cool, but I'll take what you're giving in the silver- Mercedes family.
One last thing, please give ChaCha a pony.
I promise I have been a very good girl. (Kinda) Love, Me.
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1 comment:
or at least a boy who's hung like one! /hee hee
oh and you forgot the piggy back rides!!!!!
and one more thing. they don't call Neiman Marcus, Needless Markups for no good reason.
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