A Little NASCAR Gloating...

"Hey Jeff, let's go kick some ass and take some names, Boss!"

That's right, bitches. WE OWN HIS ASS! WOOOOOO!!!

It's a banner day in NASCAR and we Jeff Gordon fans are giddy and beside ourselves with glee. You see, it hasn't been us booing your driver. No, no. We haven't thrown beer cans when your golden boy Earnhardt Jr. has won. A, because we have more class and B, because, oh yeah, he hasn't won in over a year, but I digress...

So while I've never jumped on the Jr. bandwagon, I can say I've never hated him. He's been a fun, amusing dude who looks like someone you'd totally want to have a beer with. -As long as he didn't talk about his Daddy- who I couldn't stand, but have respect for what he did for the sport... The only reason Jr. fans hated Jeff was because they were jealous- we never had anything to be jealous of. And now, (write it down!) June 13, 2007, Dale Earnhardt Jr. comes to join Hendrick Motorsports. "Why would he do that?" you may be asking yourselves.


Because he knows that's where he's got to go to win.


Duh. And so now, when he does win, when/if he goes on to win a championship, he will have Hendrick beside him. He will never have to beat us- he's joined us.

And what's even more fabulous? Jeff Gordon is all but 50/50 partners with Hendrick in all endeavors and most assuredly will be so when he retires. A+B= Jr. will soon be driving FOR, not with Mr. Jeffery Michael Gordon. Soon he'll call him Boss... Omg, I love this game...

I'm sorry. I know. It must hurt. I swear I will only rub this in for today. I will only do my evil chuckle a few more times today and then back to business. I will only dream about Jr. thanking Jeff and Mr. Hendrick for the opportunity a little longer, I will only giggle a little at the idea of now learning to root for Jr. because I will be able to see what he can do in quality equipment surrounded by the most talented teams in NASCAR...

But I will laugh loudly AND point at you dumbshits with the number 8 tattoos if he becomes the #5!!!

People will ask what this does to NASCAR, and I say "Who gives a crap?" It's the same as any other driver swap. Jr. fans will still be pissy if he loses, Gordon fans will still want Jeff to go after those 3 more trophies. Any other team had the same opportunity to court Jr. but he chose Hendrick for a reason. This is his last chance to prove he's not the O word he hears so often- Overratred. If he can't win here, he can't win. And all the hype that has surrounded him since he got to the Cup level is just that. A bunch of hoop-la about a so-so driver with a big-ass last name. I hope he does well.... I can now.

Welcome to the Hendrick Family, Jr. We are happy to have you onboard. Now get your driving boots on, it's time to go win some races....